Wednesday, May 13, 2009

"hows" and "whys"




After an outstretched span of time, last month I boarded a train. Geetanjali Express, from Kolkata to Mumbai. On a ballpark figure around 31 hrs were scheduled to cover the distance, and to surprise me it took exactly the same time.

Amazed!! newayz the matter in hand is something else. During my recent foray, I withstood a couple of unexplored impulses, conjoining to open an unfathomed portal in front of me...

I was dismayed by some hows and whys. How can one meet a stranger and get bonded like they cognize each other for long, they speak their heart out, try to understand the other one and finally after departure keeping contact and becoming gud pals... is it destined?? no its not, coz we walk that extra mile... make an effort to reach out and talk...

Then comes my way another "why" as a counterfoil, and makes me think why "us" I mean all of us can not do the same with mortal souls around us...??!!

There were so many blanks, which could have been filled, so much dead air, which could have been talked out...but we realize once its gone...time, opportunity and love...

I envision it now, when every possible door's closed, blank dreams with dismayed visions. Much affliction on every turn, tight lipped in thoughts and every other tick of time brings a turmoil....I dream me in a place where am falling, falling from nowhere, with all dark around, screams....and am falling....heart thumping faster than ever, sweating and panicking.....ohh GOD, just take me out of this....

I wake up to remember every inch of it, the dream haunts me in daylight as well, only if can undo everything and make everything ideal...everything all right....But I fall flat....

Have you ever been through this, pain, agony and grief...where time stops to decades, every sec seems to delay by decades, thoughts seems to freeze for ever.....Do u have the answers to your "hows" and "whys".???? I do not....

Friday, May 08, 2009

Chase of Life!


Life, as I look at it, is an interminable chase...innumerable individuals and countless chases, all of us are chasing willingly or unwillingly. We see different stages of our life, so as the chases...to begin with, studies, exams, result, pocket money, girls...sometimes peace and most of the time "Life".

Our quest for life is the utmost chase that haunts us like our worst nightmares. Contrary to what I said just now is, when we look at past we find those chases were silly and we could have handled them better and with ease, but is that correct? No my dear friend, every single chase is heart-stirring as hell.

Remember boards...? getting in the room, looking for who's sitting near by, breathin the name of our savior, looking at the maths paper and realizing that most of the questions were out of syllabus. Remember those ants in pants...lol...now you can laugh at it, but that moment how I survived a cardiac arrest I only know. I held it till I broke the loo later at home.

So undoubtedly I remember my quest [quoting my... will be wrong ] rather most of our contemporary young studs and their quest for becoming the "Dude" in the circle...Hah !! what remarkable sacrifices made, getting up at 4:30am, peepers cryin' for mercy, getting ready to hit the gym before those big bullies could come for "use up all the weights" workout sessions and finally spending 2hrs of reckless pumpin',... oh sorry forget to mention, last fefteen minutes dedicated to biceps [so that the sleeves can rest upon them for at least an hour]and no kidding we took it so damn serious .

This one went for long, pretty steady one...while we [we as in most of us] were loafing around the life's most cushioned platform.....suddenly from nowhere crashing comes another big fat chase " Career"....holy shit!!!

Suddenly every rosy picture fell on face and humongous responsibility came crashing and , better believe me, it hit really bad.....Since then another quest [career chase started].....

The list will possibly never end, the point of discussion was exactly this....our life is an overextending saga of "Chase" and its repercussions in daily life....We now need to take a halt, probably sipping a glass of JD on rocks, lighting our patent tobacco candy or rolling a chimney...think of what we are and what we want....certainly we can chalk out a priority list [unlike those study schedules we used to make after a "bash- their nuts out" session by mom n dad] and reroute our chases in a much wise fashion where each of them gets interlaced, givin us a lil time to" live" life ...not to just end up chasing a perfect life.....

I am seriously taking a call on that, how about you pals??
Just take out some selfish hours ....Just for you, take care!!



Thursday, May 07, 2009

A note to Moon!!


















I met a guy so simple and soft

But this is not the first look he got

He’s dashing and he’s smart
he had propensity to win people’s heart

He was thunder, he was strong But i never thought to be in his storm
In my thoughts and in my dreams
I never imagined of being next to him I never entered his realm

But finally we were team
He entered my eyes and took my shine,
But I never realized, it was never mine

Few games we played, few thoughts we shared
And with no one’s notice we actually paired
We paired in thoughts and in talks we did

But never thought of what it would be My friends started teasing me,
it’s true
But my heart said “someone’s already waiting for you”


Never realized,
it was hurting him too.
My story ended and his started
Love stings as we departed
Before leaving though,
he gave me all his pain
By telling me something, he never explained

For that first time I looked into his eyes
There was the shine my eyes deprived
I could feel his pain but had nothing to say

I met him more in nights

With dark sky and glistening moon lights


Still could not express,
to what I felt
Cos he’s a guy and I had a guilt
I had a guilt of not being true But I never cheated him too,

since u were gone
But thoughts came pouring in night and dawn
I searched you almost everywhere

Each trace of yours with hope to share
your absence your legacy
your belongings,
But got no meaning and no good end

The moon then never came to me
It never spoke or complained to me
I look at moon and left messages,
as it must be shining on the other end or so.
so far to see
He never called,
or came back to ask
Every day,
every moment,

I was made to ask
What went wrong,
or what did I do wrong
That it hurts all through these days and years long
Did you play, or sacrificed?
You never turned up or came twice


You gave me pain, that I cannot bear
And said I enjoy it,
and can take care


Please answer my questions and leave at your will
Cos entire life else I’ll just struggle,
to know the answer to know the cause
Why did you play or broke a friendly heart


Tell me you played and you had joy
To hurt me more, like a toy


Don’t hurt me more,
is what I plead
Please be my friend, as I need....

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The lamp post, street and me



The lamp post, street and me,
Not so very often,but commingle, and witness...
the pacing life and its seclusion...

We see a car, inside a mother clutching her son,
With wet lashes and closed eyes, is destiny departing them??
or they have recognated after a nightmare?

We see few men panting and pacing,
with ample of urge & de-ja-vu,
is that what we call chase of life?
or simple unmasking of reality?

We see an old woman, with a walking stick,
with pale lips but an immortal smile,is that salvation?
or she is content, that's her fate?

We see, not just for memories,
but to behold,
with voice of silence and vision of stone,
they just keep quite,
I say, I narrate,
The lamp post, street and me...

Sudeep Chakravarty

I shall be gone!


Tomorrow I shall be gone, to unseen lands..
leaving those pastures behind...
Tomorrow I shall fade away, leaving a storm of sands...
leaving those unnamed tears behind..

Tomorrow I shall call, to take you away...leaving those promises behind...
Tomorrow I shall be gone,to unseen lands..
leaving those dreams behind...

Tomorrow I shall be gone, in the wilderness..
leaving those fears behind...

Tomorrow I shall be gone, to faraway lands....
Leavings your hands behind...
Tomorrow...I shall be gone....
not to come back..Leaving some moments behind...with pride...
Tomorrow, I shall be gone....